one of few people i trusted....

walked out of my life—without giving much consideration how much i have been there for him through so much. i messaged him “joey” “hey pauline, i got back with my ex, and i dont want to create drama so i think its best if we didnt talk sorry i hope you understand” my heart just sunk after that, was this really happening, i was so mad that he was so willing to throw our friendship away for a girl. so i relied “yea got it. hope everything work out” and that was the end of what i had to say. he continued to say “well i hope everything is going good for you everything is working out good for me bye take care” after that i just sat there rereading everything.

it makes me so mad and hurt that after all we have been through, so many laughs and jokes and phone calls and he is so willing to walk away like that. i thought he meant it when he said he was not going to let a girl come between our friendship again because he missed me. o be honest, i really hope their relationship does not work out, i hate myself for saying this. of course i want him to be happy, but with someone who doesnt care who he is friends with and who he talks to. there are so much i want to say to him. but i dont know if i will have the heart to tell him about how i feel about this whole thing, and how i am done sticking around and waiting for him to come back and be friends again. this is it, and i am done. he is making it even harder to trust people. i let him in my life only to be walked out on. the next time he comes back to me….like he usually does. i am simply not even going to try anymore. if he wants this friendship back, he is going to have tp prove to me that he really cares and really wants to be friends again. i am going to make him work for it. there is no reason of keeping someone in my life if they are not willing to keep me in theirs. simple.

as much as i am hurt over this and bummed out over this. i think losing a best friend is hard. i felt like a piece of my heart went missing. but i will be ok, because i am pretty used to people walking out and being disappointed. words has never really meant anything to me and yesterday just proves why i dont believe anything people say. ill believe it when it see it happens. actions speaks louder than words. words mean nothing to me anymore.